normally I just say ‘born this way’…

Almost dark

Almost dark

in the last twenty years
my dad died of terminal cancer
asking me to contact Dr. Kevorkian (assisted life termination)
the pain was so unbearable towards the end
thankfully, he transitioned one week later
the youngest committed suicide
after a long battle with drugs and alcohol
she bled to death in my mother’s arms
one sister developed a terrible disease
with no known cause and no known cure
suffered for two years and then passed
my ex-partner died in a tragic fire
because hoarding took over her life
luckily, I moved out or I wouldn’t be here now
one brother is down for over 5 years now
unable to work with major depression
one sister took an apparent overdose
attempted suicide but failed
was in a semi-vegetative state for two years
until her husband pulled the feeding tube
without even notifying our family
two weeks after that failed suicide attempt
by our sister – our mother had a massive stroke
paralyzed with no use of legs and little use of right arm  
speech impacted but she lives on four years later
requiring round-the-clock care from my sister
so when people ask me why I’m depressed
normally I just say ‘born this way’…

I do not fear death nor do I fear evil doers.
I have been protected by an unseen force all my life,
and those who attempt me harm – see quick retribution
from the Cosmos. My heart is shattered and nothing
will ever fix it – not all the money in this world,
or all the power in this world. Sadness has been
my life long companion. Nothing really matters to me
now for myself – my only concern is helping my family
for as long as I can. Only Cosmos will make any dent
in the devastation that has occurred in my family,
and in my heart. There are no words or phrases that
can describe what this is like when you are a super-sensitive
soul, and that’s just the way life and karma goes…
(Copyright 10-20-15)

poets must be the most depressing people in the world…

Grinch who stole X-mas

Grinch who stole X-mas

caution:rant ahead 🙂

poets must be the most depressing people in the world
yeah, I’m sure it’s simply a fact
we should have signs that say
caution: hide the rope and rafters before you read
which is normally the reason I do not read
the bulk of stuff in the poetry section
people think they had a bad day
because someone gave them a dirty look or frown
they lost a glue-on-nail on a door frame
their dog chewed up their favorite selfie
they got a speeding ticket for going 35 miles above the posted limit
then there are the clever ones
who make up tales that are complete fiction
which puts them in the pathetic category in my book
all to solicit sympathy or attention from anyone
when their life is really nothing like this
I don’t know how many times that I’ve commented
on such tales only to be told it was creative writing
without any shred of truth to the whole story
you think to yourself – is there any truth on the Net?
which is why I don’t believe anyone who panhandles
the GoFundMe slackers, too lazy to work really amaze me
does that really work for you, and are people so stupid?
hey good for you and good luck getting ahead in life
when you reach a million dollars – let us all know
we’ll add you to the ‘millionaire sucker’s club’
and what’s with these people who want to be seen naked?
what makes you think that we want to see your naked body?
where were you raised in a whore house? or a crack house?
the finger flippers – yeah hell freak everybody right?
what the fuck is wrong with these people?
don’t bother answering, I already know…

(Copyright 11-30-16)

 

Sci-fi-tology

applauds Leah Remini show on A&E tonight exposing Sci-fi-tology.
don’t walk – Run from this ORG!

totaleclipseblog

SciFiit’s all coming back to me now
they were between 8th Ave. and Broadway
West 46th Street in the Big Apple
I was just a naive’ kid, just out of high school
the registrar said, ‘we have a place for you to stay too’
all my psychological roadblocks were cleared
so off I went on the great adventure
country boy heads to NYC
paid my fare for a week course on getting ‘clear’
upon arrival the first red flag went up
as I noted they referred to themselves as a ‘church’
the registrar was a pretty Jewish girl about my age
she actually gave up her bed and room for me to sleep in
claimed she would be staying at a friend’s place
then we had orientation along with more red flags
on the second day, they informed us while there
you were not allowed to read the Bible,
practice…

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Love’s Philosophy

Full moon

Full moon

Love’s Philosophy     
The fountains mingle with the river
And the rivers with the ocean
The winds of heaven mix for ever
With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single,
All things by a law divine
In one another’s being mingle­
Why not I with thine?

See the mountains kiss high heaven
And the waves clasp one another
No sister-flower would be forgiven
If it disdain’d its brother;
And the sunlight clasps the earth,
And the moonbeams kiss the sea­
What are all these kisses worth
If thou kiss not me?
– Percy Bysshe Shelley

My eyes will always be fixed on the sun…

you’ve been talking in your sleep…

totaleclipseblog

Bay sunset Bay sunset

snow piles up during a nor’easter
mugo pines bend under the weight
it’s blistering cold with cutting winds
come in out of the cold now
you know the warmth of loving arms
even if thousands of miles away
we don’t have to speak if that pleases you
people say so many things, yet what gets accomplished
high in the Himalayas, I used to sit for hours
see how big a circle of snow I could melt
that was lifetimes ago now, Tibet I believe
I still can’t melt the heart that means the most to me
you know what lies within my soul
the world is at times a bitter pill
merge with me when you will
love was meant to be free flowing
take what you need but just remember
my eyes will always be fixed on the sun…
(Copyright 02-25-13)

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